


home is where (all your stuff is)

by Blinkingkills (alexwhitewell), plingo_kat



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, spoilers for Kingsman: the golden circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:59:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexwhitewell/pseuds/Blinkingkills, https://archiveofourown.org/users/plingo_kat/pseuds/plingo_kat
Summary: (Major spoiler for the new movie.)It takes Merlin three weeks to notice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> BIG SPOILER.  
> So even though they shot Merlin's part in Eggsy's wedding, I guess they changed their mind and now he's not in it?  
> I refuse to believe that landmine killed him, and will continue to not believe it until Matthew Vaughn fixes things like he fixed Harry dying.

It takes 3 weeks for Merlin to notice.

\------

 

When Eggsy steps into the newly rebuilt Kingsman Tailors, he is immediately on guard. There are sounds of objects being thrown and yelling, most of it in a familiar Scottish accent.  As he edges closer to the briefing room, he sighs and lowers his gun.

 

Eggsy had warned Harry weeks earlier that Merlin was  _ not  _ going to enjoy finding out that all his worldly possessions had been moved to Harry’s new flat. His ground floor, wheelchair accessible new flat.

 

“-had  _ no _ right to assume anything, Harry, I’m not a child.”

 

Crash.

 

“Swallow your pride, Merlin, we both know you’ve not left the Tailor’s since you were discharged. It took you three fucking weeks to even find out, and only because your landlord called.”

 

Another shattering of ceramic. Eggsy secretly hopes it’s the gaudy pink tea set that Harry insisted on owning.

 

“It was my home, and you move me out without asking?”

 

This time the impact sounds decidedly more fleshy and Eggsy finally wrenches the door open to intervene.

 

“Harry, Merlin-”  He stops short when he sees Harry on the ground looking slightly dazed next to a broken pink teapot, and Merlin with an expression of anger quickly transforming to worry. Eggsy curses whichever deity gave these two otherwise very capable men such piss poor communication skills.

 

“For fuck’s sake, you know that Harry doesn’t have any depth perception, you could have seriously hurt him. And Harry, you of all people should understand what it is like to suddenly lose a part of yourself that you take for granted.”  Poorly adjusted millennials Eggsy’s fucking arse. At least he knows how to express himself.

 

Harry stands up slowly, only to lower himself onto one of the overly decorative chairs, while Merlin stays upright. One hand grips the table so tightly his knuckles turn white. Harry places his hand over Merlin’s as Eggsy moves to pull a chair behind him.

 

“Please, Merlin, sit down.” The gentle tone of Harry’s voice seems to cause Merlin’s defenses to break, and he all but free falls back into the chair Eggsy had pull behind him seconds earlier. The amount of pain he must have been in to collapse with so little coaxing must have been unbearable to anyone else.

 

“I can’t do this.” Merlin’s voice is barely audible, cracking mid way through the sentence. It hurts Eggsy’s heart to see him so defeated. Even Harry is looking slightly guilty, and he never feels guilty about any of his decisions, good or otherwise.

 

“Not alone you can’t. It’s not you against the world, yeah? We’re here too.” Eggsy waves his hand toward Harry. “Even though he’s fucking terrible at helping.”

 

Harry puffs up a little in indignation but doesn’t defend himself. Hopefully he sees the error of his ways, though it's more likely that he’s just picking his battles. The only person more stubborn than Harry is sitting across from him and close to a breakdown. Harry turns to Merlin.

 

“The doctors said you shouldn’t be in your prosthetics for more than a couple hours at a time right now, but you never take any breaks, it’s no wonder you are in so much agony.” Both Harry and Eggsy silence any incoming argument with a look.  “None of us think you are lesser for using a wheelchair when you are tired.”

 

Merlin flinches and looks away. “We are recruiting soon. I will not have any potential Kingsman disrespecting my authority.”

 

Eggsy knows what Harry wants to say. That anyone who would disrespect Merlin isn’t worthy of a seat at the table anyway. But people’s prejudices are hard to change, and even if it isn’t disrespect, there will be pity, which for Merlin could be even worse.

 

“For such a fussy mother hen, Merlin, you really are the worst patient out of us.” Eggsy huffs. “No one is saying not to walk around, just maybe take it a little easier, yeah? Harry was a right prick for moving your shit without asking, but realistically, you weren’t going to be able to get up and down that 4th floor walk up every single day.”

 

“He still should have asked.” Merlin grumbled, shooting a glare at Harry.

 

“Yeah he should’ve, which I told him to do back when he first had this stupid idea.” Harry doesn’t cower under both their glares, but it's a close thing.  

 

“You wouldn’t have agreed, so I thought I’d just beg forgiveness instead of asking permission.” 

 

“If I still had feet I’d be shoving them up your arse right now.” It takes all of Eggsy’s willpower not to laugh, so he interjects before the very expensive crystal glassware gets thrown.

 

“Stay with Harry for a few weeks, and if you still feel like murdering him in his sleep, I’ll help you find a more accessible place.” Merlin folds his arms but doesn’t protest any further.

 

Eggsy stands up, ready to escape this conversation. “Now that the parentals are a little calmer, I trust you’ll be able to hash out specifics without resorting to throwing our good scotch.”

 

‘I’m gonna get M’s chair’ shows up on Harry’s eyeglass projection.

 

It’s not until Eggsy has left that room that Harry lets out a short laugh. “Our boy has really grown up.”

 

“Whereas you haven’t changed since you were fifteen, you massive fucking wanker.” There is little heat in Merlin’s words. They’ve had this conversation many times.  Harry hasn’t moved his hand since he placed it atop Merlin’s.

 

“Let me take care of you then, as you’ve done for me these past thirty years.” Harry leans in and presses his lips to the corner of Merlin’s mouth. His affections have always been more physical than Merlin, who only mostly tolerates it.  When he finally pulls away Merlin looks just a little less likely to strangle Harry, so he counts that as a good sign.

 

“If you try to bridal carry me over any thresholds, I really will remove my leg and shove it up your arse.”

 

“Does that mean you’ll stay with me?” Harry’s smile is radiant.

 

“If only because you’ll need looking after more than I do.” There is a hint of a grin from the Scott. 

 

“Perfect. Eggsy has gone to bring your wheelchair. Unless you’ve changed your mind about the bridal carry?” 

 

“Not likely.”

 

Harry counts patiently in his mind. When he gets to fifty, he opens his mouth. “By the by, there wasn’t quite room for your bed. We’ll be sharing for the duration.”

 

“Wait,  _ what--” _

 

Eggsy opens the door and wheels in Merlin’s chair. “Got it. Here you… go…”

 

He trails off and stares between at two of them. Merlin is bright red while Harry lounges back in his chair with a smirk.

 

“Should I leave?”

 

“Oh no,” Harry says. “I have to clean up all this crockery. You can take Merlin off to get settled, can’t you, Eggsy?”

 

_ “You.” _ Merlin’s face arranges itself into a thunderous scowl.

 

“Bye now,” Harry says, mild as milk. He blinks twice at Eggsy.

 

Eggsy sighs.

 

“Come on, Merlin. You can go reprogram his car or something.”

 

A slow, terrifying grin begins to crawl over Merlin’s face.

 

“Oh no,” he says with relish. “I’ve something much worse in mind.”

 

Harry stands from his chair, but Merlin is already in the wheelchair and out the door.

 

“...Bugger.”


	2. Home is where (all the sex is)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no self control. sorry. this is just what is going to have to happen.

It takes two weeks for Harry to ask.

 

Merlin is honestly surprised that he lasted this long, the randy dog that he is. How a man his age still behaves like such a teenager is beyond his understanding.

 

“So….Merlin.” Harry looks so incredibly nervous that Merlin takes pity on him. 

 

“If you want to be doing most of the leg work, no pun intended, we can have sex.”

 

“Oh. good.”It take a couple minutes but Harry’s brain seems to finally catch up with his mouth. “Oh! I mean, that’s great. Wonderful. How do you want to proceed?”  

 

“Now?” Merlin frowns. “It’s just past noon on a Thursday. We are still technically on the clock.” Harry’s palpable disappointment would be hilarious if Eggsy hadn’t chosen to pipe in over the eyepiece, reminding them that yes, they were very much on the clock.

 

“I’m super glad that you two have such a fulfilling sex life, but I’m trying to sneak into this guy’s evil lair right now and it's distracting.”

 

“Its an office building, not an evil lair. Take the third door to your left.” Merlin sneaks a look at Harry, who appears considerably more fidgety than before.

 

“For god’s sake, Arthur, we haven’t shagged for months, what’s a few more hours?” He emphasizes his codename in a futile attempt to keep Harry on track. It doesn’t work.

 

“Merlin-” Eggsy interrupts, cutting off Harry’s inevitable whinging.

 

“Wait, do you call Merlin ‘Merlin’ during sex?” Merlin snorts. 

 

“Of course that’s what you focus on. Eyes up Galahad, I can’t see the hallway.” He doesn’t answer the question, and Eggsy doesn’t press. They really do have to get through the building with as few casualties as possible.

 

Two hours and three close calls later, Eggsy is out of the evil lair/office building, information in hand and sitting in a diner.

 

“How should I have known that the security guards carried tasers?” Honestly, if Harry’s antics didn’t kill him first, Eggsy’s just might.

 

“I repeated it twice during the briefing. Were you even listening?” Eggsy’s response is muffled by him shoving an entire sausage in his mouth. Merlin wonders briefly if he’s practicing for something.

 

“It looks like Galahad has the right idea.” Harry comments lightly, which in turn causes the boy to nearly choke mid swallow.

 

“Fucking hell, warn me before you say something like that.” Eggsy gasps after he downs a glass of orange juice trying to clear his throat.

 

“If there is nothing else, Galahad, we’ll leave you to it.” It’s best if Merlin deals with Harry before he says something even more embarrassing.

 

“Yeah, yeah, ‘M fine, just don’t go at it too hard. Use lots of lube and all that.”  The transmission cuts off before Merlin can snipe that they’ve been having gay sex longer than Eggsy has even been alive. 

 

Harry is on him in seconds. It’s flattering, but also very inappropriate. Merlin pushes Harry’s face away with one hand.

 

“We are not doing this here. Get my cane and we can go back home.” Harry reluctantly but quickly grabs the cane and hands it to Merlin, who stands up slowly. It takes far longer than Harry would like to get back to their flat, but Merlin absolutely refuses to fuck anywhere uncomfortable or hard to clean.

 

When they finally reach their shared bedroom (Harry had to endure three days of John Denver songs blasting at full volume in his car as punishment), Merlin sits down at the edge of the bed, while Harry hovers. 

 

“What’s wrong now? Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly got performance anxiety now that we are actually in a bed.”  Merlin crosses his arms. They are largely only doing this because Harry is a horny bastard. Merlin doesn’t particularly care one way or the other if any sex was ever had, so it is a little irritating for him to have to hobble all the way over here just for Harry to suddenly get shy.

 

“I might… finish a bit too quickly, as it were. It has been a few months.”  Now it’s Merlin’s turn to hesitate. 

 

“What kept you from finding a pretty face at the local pubs? I know Eggsy taught you how to use those phone apps.”  Harry grimaces at the thought of having to use Tinder to get laid.

 

“It felt wrong to shag my way across the Scottish Highlands while you were still in hospital.” 

 

“Giving yourself a lot of credit there. And my being in hospital has never stopped you before.” Merlin starts removing his prosthetics. After getting a 2 hour lecture by his doctors and physical therapists while Harry and Eggsy stood by nodding only slightly smugly, he’s been taking better care of himself. If only to spare the lectures. When he looks up Harry’s expression is inscrutable.

 

“I didn’t want you to think I was leaving you because of your injuries.” He almost looks hurt by Merlin’s ensuing guffaw.

 

“Harry, you didn’t leave me when I lost my hair. What’s a couple of limbs?” A 56 year old man shouldn’t look so adorable when he’s pouting, but Harry manages it.  He does finally flop onto the bed next to Merlin though.

 

“I was trying to be considerate, you wanker. I’m never telling you anything ever again.” Merlin is still chuckling when he kisses Harry’s ear. 

 

“I’m touched by your self restraint. I’ll inform everyone I know that the great Harry Hart refrained from shagging his way across Scotland while his occasional lover was in hospital.” Harry twists his body and pushes them both into a lying position on the bed. He holds Merlin in a tight hug, burying his face into his neck.

 

“Please don’t do that to me again. I couldn’t take it.” One hand slowly comes up to pet Harry’s hair.  Vain bastard put product in it too.

 

“And you think I could take it? I watched you get shot in the head in full 4k resolution and surround sound.” 

 

“You were 50 feet away and singing John Denver.” Merlin sighs internally. Country Road really is such an underrated song, what a shame that Harry doesn’t understand how beautiful it is.

 

“Let’s stop this train of thought before Roxy books us more therapy sessions and get to what we originally returned here to do.”  Roxy had turned up at their Scotland base of operations with a broken arm and several impressive bruises after everything had gone down. Merlin always knew those missile proof wardrobes would come in handy.  He’s getting off track though, so he uses what’s left of his right leg to nudge Harry’s fully clothed crotch.

 

“Still ready to go?”

 

The speed at which Harry can get out of his three piece suits is something to behold, so they are both naked and sweaty soon enough. Harry rides Merlin’s cock with the same determination and care as he would defuse a bomb. Too slowly, basically.

 

“I have no more legs to break, Harry, get on with it.” Merlin grabs Harry’s hips and pushes down hard.  There is a choked moan and Merlin is hit in the face with semen. To be quite honest, it’s kind of gross. Harry slumps forward onto Merlin, breathing heavily.

 

“I told you before it was going to be a quick outing if you weren’t careful.” Harry says once he’s caught his breath. He rolls off Merlin and removes the used condom, tossing it in the bin. “Do you want me to..” He makes an obscene gesture at Merlin with a slight grin on his face.

 

Merlin waves him off. “I’m in no hurry. I imagine you’ll want a round two anyway, and I don’t have your stamina.” He gingerly wipes at his face with one hand. ” Please go get me a towel though. If your semen dries on my face you’ll have country music blasting in your office for the next month.”

 

When Harry stumbles off to the bathroom, he gives Merlin a lovely image of his backside which he admires for a moment until the text function in his glasses flare to life.

 

GALAHAD: :THUMBSUP:

LANCELOT: omg eggsy we weren’t going to tell them

LANCELOT: but now that you know.. :THUMBSUP:

GALAHAD: u left ur glass projection on by accdnt. 

GALAHAD: we only saw H cumming all over ur face before we shut it off

GALAHAD: promise

 

Merlin’s head falls back heavily onto his pillow. He hasn’t forgotten to turn off his glasses in years. 

 

MERLIN: Let’s never speak of this again.

LANCELOT: of course

GALAHAD : I just thought jobs well done shud b commended.

LANCELOT: by a thumbs up emoji?

GALAHAD: U DID IT 2

MERLIN: Agents.

GALAHAD: fine

 

Harry reappears with a warm wet towel and Merlin gratefully cleans off his glasses and face. When he slips his frames back on there is one last message.

 

ARTHUR: If you don’t mind, Lancelot, please send me a copy of tonight’s activities.

 

Merlin is going to murder him.


End file.
